littlebattles | IC contact for lastvoyages

[When June hears his voice, she acts on instinct: she tosses her communicator away from her like it's a small, biting animal, then throws one of her shawls on top of it for good measure, muffling the sound. She leaves the room. She doesn't listen. She doesn't want to hear.

She comes back to it an hour or so later, armed with rationalizations, and this time she does listen - not out of a desire to face what she's done, but because, she tells herself, what she did doesn't really matter. He's back, isn't he? He's alive. He's not a mindless, transformed creature. No harm done. And if this is a more fragile rationalization than usual, one so, so easily disproved by her own traumatizing first-hand experience with turning and mindlessness and subsequent death, that's fine, because she can lock those feelings away in a box for the duration of this conversation. And when she needs to bring them back out, it'll be William's words that'll get locked away in their place - all the conflicting details of this story carefully compartmentalized and never allowed to comingle. It's fine. She can make it work. It's fine.

But still, when she finally responds, her voice is strained.]

We couldn't have. I'm not a fighter, and you-- you had a knife, William. You're a murderer. You had a better chance of defending yourself than I did. If you think you can pin any of this on me--

[Tess pauses. It would be easy to turn this into a negotiation, something to ensure her safety and reputation, but there is nothing of that sort here. Nothing that matters, anyway.]

That's just it, you're so forgiving that you're going to move on, just like that? We eat dinner in the same dining hall, no hard feelings?

Like fact-reading powers? Probably a mind-reader or two too, honestly.

And it'll be in my file when I get a real warden.

But you don't have one yet, so who can verify it?

Are you having this conversation with William too, or just me?

[Bluntly:]

That's not your business.

I don't have a right to know if I'm being singled out?

Why would I single you out?

You tell me. I know plenty of inmates don't think highly of me.

Do you want me to not move on? I'm trying to give you an out here.

I don't usually think of you at all, June.

[Not expressly true, exactly, but there are definitely showier personalities around hogging the limelight. Bigger threats.]

And I'm not telling you do to anything. I'm just saying when people say "I'll just move on", they don't. You're going to think about this every time you pass me in the halls.

[She sighs, running a hand through her hair.]

I'll think about it. Okay? I'll think about telling them more.

All right. That is the first step to doing something.

Then I'll think about it every time I pass you in the halls no matter what we say to each other now.

How much do you remember about what happened?

[Does she remember the way June had practically pushed William at her in her efforts to escape?]

Everything. If my head was turned that way, I saw it.

[Well, shit.]

It's all a blur to me. I barely knew what I was doing.

Well, you see a shit situation, you just book it, right? It's the smart thing to do.

[June hesitates briefly - because yes, that is exactly the point that she was getting at, and she's frankly a little suspicious that Tess is agreeing with her so readily. Aren't she and William friends?]

Let's just say that not everyone is going to see it that way.

If you kept quiet about the details, I'd appreciate it.

Quiet as a mouse.

[She's not exactly thrilled at the idea of too many eyes on her, either, but if she needs leverage later, she'll still have it.]

You talked to William yet?

[In a calm, friendly-sounding tone:]

That's not your business.

Guess I'll get his perspective then.

[ He listens, sits for a minute or two with the communicator in his lap. She has her facts all lined up. It's a relief, in a way—being told you're a murderer. I'm not. Like he's some separate species. He doesn't disagree. ]

She bit someone else. After—me and you. [ Maybe she looked on the network, but knowing her as he does—barely—he assumes not. ] I won't tell you he's a good man, but he didn't deserve that.

[ His voice dips. ] I know you were just trying to do your fucking laundry. But we have to be here for each other. Nobody else is gonna do it.

[Wowwwwww she hates this.]

People don't always agree on what the smart thing to do is, Tess. Especially when they think they've been given the short end of the stick. I'd keep that in mind if I were you.

That sounds to me like a good argument for why we should look after ourselves, not each other.

Most inmates would have done exactly what I did. Plenty of them would have done worse.

Your time as a mindless [ his voice goes tight; he skips past the word ] hasn't given you cause to reconsider?

We're not talking about them, all right? What they might've done. This is about you and what you did. If you think I deserve to die, if that's really what was going through your head...I understand.

But I want you to say it.

[Yes, that's why I did it. You deserved it. It should be easy to say. She rehearses the words in her head, hearing them in her voice, smooth and confident and certain.

She remembers him stepping forward to help, when he could have just kept walking.

She cuts the feed instead, letting out a quiet moan as she buries her face in her hands.]

IC contact for lastvoyages

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audio; THIS IS NOT ME ENDING THE THREAD next tag will be her finding him in person